“Marriage” is a very complicated word—with a very complicated history behind it. It means very different things depending on who is speaking, the language used, and where the speaker comes from.
“Marriage” historically has had to do with breeding—in the biological sense of sexual reproduction or the procreation of offspring. (Although mating doesn’t always result in procreation.)
“Marriage” often is described as a kind of bonding—in the sense of a relationship between persons entered into with some degree of consent or, sometimes, constraint. (The relationship may be intended to be—or turn out to be—long or short term or indefinite or life long.)
“Marriage” may result from merely personal decisions by the parties involved, from mutual agreements between families, and from formal recognition by societal authorities (civil or religious).
Depending on the culture or customs of a particular time or place, a person may have multiple marriages, whether simultaneously or serially.
As people, cultures and customs have developed and changed, so has the understanding of “marriage”—a process that is still going on.
When I was studying Canon (i.e. ecclesiastical) Law many years ago, these were the juridical definitions of the purpose of marriage and of matrimonial consent:
The primary end of marriage is the procreation and education of children; the secondary, mutual assistance and the remedy of concupiscence. (Canon 1013, §1)
Matrimonial consent is the act of the will by which both parties give and accept the perpetual and exclusive right to the body for acts which are per se apt to generate offspring. (Canon 1081, §2).
Canon Law doesn’t seem very romantic! But, don’t blame the canonists. In many times, places, and cultures, romance was not considered a primary factor in marriage.
Often we speak of marriage as a contract concerning procreation and education of children and sexual rights and obligations.
Since children can inherit titles, thrones, class or caste prerogatives, money, property, and other material assets, it is clear that there are important contractual matters associated with marriage.
Sometimes they were at the core of the marriage, since things like love, affection, passion and sexual pleasure could be found and satisfied outside of marriage.
All this is mostly about legalities. Morality brings another dimension to views about marriage. That’s when we judge certain behaviors, whether within or outside of marriage, as good or bad, holy or sinful.
When marriage is considered a sacrament, “an outward sign instituted by Christ to bring grace”, the matter becomes even more complex, canonically and theologically.
For example: When is a marriage “valid”? When/how does a marriage end? When may a marriage be blessed? Are there other relationships that may be blessed? What does it mean, to be blessed?
In our day, traditional marriages in many different cultures are sometimes being critiqued, reinterpreted, and redefined. What used to be a common and relatively unquestioned institution is being challenged by some and defended by others.
Long ago, Shakespeare used a grim label for his tale of Romeo and Juliet, two lovers who challenged the marriage customs of their day. He called it a “Tragedy”.
4 April 2021