Mercy Archives < For Better or For Worse

Sin, Sinned, Sinning, Sinner

Sin 1. a) the breaking of religious law or a moral principal, especially through a willful act b) a state of habitual violation of such principals 2. any offense, misdemeanor, or fault – sinned, sinning 1. to break a religious law or moral principal; commit a sin. 2. to commit an offense or fault of any kind: do wrong.

   I don’t remember if I had used these exact words in my weekly “released-time” class at the nearest Catholic church, but I certainly got the idea right and could communicate it very well. I had to!
   I was being prepared for first Holy Communion and that meant I had to learn about Sin and sins and be ready to accuse myself to the priest at my first Confession, which of course preceded first Communion!
   (I was then six going on seven years old!)
   Naturally I had been taught about Moses and the Ten Commandments
—and all the very many and diverse ways associated with not obeying them well enough: Sin!
   My most common sins had to do with acts of disobedience to my parents or, later, things like accidentally swallowing some water when brushing my teeth on Sunday before going to Communion (breaking the Eucharistic fast).
   The sixth commandment was hard to understand, “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” but, as I got a little older, I learned that it was about bad thoughts, bad desires, and bad actions, alone or with others!
   It was a tricky business trying to discover and not forget to confess all my weekly sins.
   I still remember one Saturday afternoon when I couldn’t recall any sins to tell the priest in confession.
   So, I did what the Nuns had taught me, and told the priest that I couldn’t remember any new sins to tell, but that I was heartily sorry for all my past sins.

   “You get out of here, kneel down, and pray—and then come back here and confess,” the priest roared!
   (I was so scared that I never made a confession like that again—ever!)
   This is only a childhood memory, but it is a reminder of how things were in those days—and of the sort of obsession with sin that characterized them in some, if not many, parts of the world!
   The emphasis on sin, repentance, and confession had its merits and value amid all the problems of growing up and living a good adult life, but it dominated my early formation and the understanding of God and his commandments.
   It was a tough struggle in adult years, to come to terms with what the sixth commandment was really all about. It always had seemed that somehow it was the “sexth” commandment, in practice!
   One thing is for sure, I grew up with a keen consciousness of “sin” in dozens of small ways and relatively less awareness of the forgiveness and love of God, ever a cause for joy and rejoicing!
   Deo gratias! (Thanks be to God) is somehow more important or life-giving than Confiteor Deo omnipotenti… (I confess to almighty God…), though both have their distinct place and use.
   One of the things that people marveled at in the life of Jesus was how he fraternized with sinners. He didn’t behave like them, but he treated each and every one of them with compassion, forgiveness, and love.
   We know about the sins that we sinners are all capable of and worse. Don’t let that make you forget to rejoice with Jesus over your repentances and his pardons!

10 September 2023

WTHOGATAP

Will I ever stop screwing things up?
   WTHOGATAP!
   Why do I so often start out well and then forget to stick to my plan?
   WTHOGATAP!
   Why have I said such stupid things again?
   WTHOGATAP!
   Why did I blow such a great relationship?
   WTHOGATAP!
   Why did I forget to keep such an important appointment?
   WTHOGATAP!
   How could I lose my way, going down such a familiar path?
   WTHOGATAP!
   Why did I drink so much again, even though I know better?
   WTHOGATAP!
   Why did I stay out so late when I had such important things to do the next morning?
   WTHOGATAP!
   Why did I boast about things I never accomplished?
   WTHOGATAP!
   Why do I pretend to be someone different than who I really am?
   WTHOGATAP!
   Am I doomed to be so weak and lost forever?
   WTHOGATAP!
   Why do I so often end up in the wrong place when I know the right way so well?
   WTHOGATAP!
   Why am I on a road to Hell paved with good intentions?
   WTHOGATAP!
   Why do I do the opposite of what I know is right and good!
   WTHOGATAP!
   I’m tired of it all; sometimes I think I’d be better dead!
   WTHOGATAP!
   I want to change who I am and what I’m doing.
   WTHOGATAP!

   When I really look in the mirror—a real one that really shows the truth, one that doesn’t fake it by showing me what I want to see—it’s usually a downer!
   It seems I’m always letting myself down; I’m so often not getting things right; I keep making dumb choices! What’s wrong with me!
   You’re a creature, not the Creator!
   You’re limited, not all knowing!
   You’re weak, not all powerful!
   You’re right to be saddened, because you really know better.
   Don’t let yourself sink deeper into the swamp of self-reproach, regret, and sadness because of broken intentions and despair!
   You know you should know better. You’ve seen the warning signs. You know deep down inside yourself where your road is really going. You know you’ve failed before and will fail again.
   Okay, you are facing reality, you are trying to be very honest, brutally honest!
   It means you have to accept the fact that you’ve blown things before and are doing it again! You know very well—proven by long experience—that you’re not perfect and you’re not infallible!
   Let’s face it, your report card about your life may have some high scores, but it’s never going to be 100%.
   It’s not your laziness, indifference, failings, or stupidity—it’s just that you’re fundamentally imperfect, in the exact meaning of the word.
   Because you’re not the Creator, you’re always going to be limited unless he intervenes and helps you.
   That’s the great secret: With The Help Of God All Things Are Possible!

9 July 2023

No Strings Attached

“No strings attached” means without limiting conditions or restrictions. For example, I loan you some money without setting a deadline for paying me back. Or, for example, I agree to overlook something negative that you did, without requiring that certain other positive things be done.
   If you’re tried in a court of law, you’re adjudged “Guilty” or “Not Guilty”. And, if you’re adjudged “Guilty”, there probably will be certain conditions or restrictions placed on you. In the worst-case scenario, you could be sentenced to death, long-term imprisonment, or severe fines and other penalties.
   When Jesus was being crucified, as they were nailing him to the cross, he prayed “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do!” (Luke 23:34)
   What do you think of Jesus’ decision? Naïve? Lacking in experienced judgement? Unsophisticated? Simplistic? Credulous? Dumb?
   No, you probably wouldn’t dream of using words like that in reference to Jesus’ behavior. But, in practice, you also probably wouldn’t be so generous in forgiving as was Jesus, were you in a similar situation.
   You doubt it? Well, just think of the Gospel story of the return of the prodigal son or, as it is often called, the parable of the lost son. (Luke 15: 11-32)
   What do you think of the Father’s decision? Naïve? Simplistic?
   What do you think of the older son’s reaction to the situation? Just? Balanced? More thought out? Reasonable?
   It’s reasonable to take cognizance of someone’s history of behavior when making a decision. However there is a huge difference between a reasonable legal judgement and an act of forgiveness.
   You might say it’s the difference between law and love, especially between the law of God and the love of God.

   Paradoxically, the law of God is love! And, love can defy logic, prudence, and practice! Love isn’t naïve or simplistic; it’s not something earned or merited; it’s a grace, a gift—by its nature not deserved.
   Mercy, pardon, forgiveness, forgetting by their very nature have “no strings attached”. They are gifts freely given, unconditional.
   If abused, it is against their nature to be withdrawn—but they may not be repeated!
   What is the best course of action if someone who has ignored your advice, squandered your hard-earned money, and has been out of touch for a long, long time suddenly reappears, appears to be contrite, and asks for forgiveness and to be reinstated in your good graces.
   Before you act or respond, first ask yourself are you thinking of yesterday’s person or today’s person? Are you thinking of the person who was or the person who is? To be alive means that we are constantly changing, that we are ever developing.
   Today’s person is not one hundred percent yesterday’s person—maybe better, maybe worse—but never exactly the same!
   In a court of law, what is being ascertained is always about yesterday’s person, about what that person actually said and did.
   Jesus wasn’t—and isn’t—so interested in what each person was before. His boundless mercy is rooted in his concern for what each person is right now, today, not yesterday.
   Thanks be to God that our final encounter with him, our “last judgement”, will not be a measure of our yesterdays, just of the still existing, ever-changing person that we are at that moment of encounter—in other words an experience of mercy and of love!
   No strings attached!

12 March 2023

Judging Rightly

In his sermon On Pastors, St. Augustine said:
   For what person can judge rightly concerning another? Our whole daily life is filled with rash judgements. The one of whom we had despaired is converted suddenly and becomes very good. The one from whom we had anticipated a great deal suddenly fails and becomes very bad. Neither fear nor hope is certain.
   What any one is today, that one scarcely knows. Still in some way that person does know what he/she is today. What that person will be tomorrow, however, he/she does not know.
   Remember in the account of the crucifixion of Jesus what he said to the “good thief”, “Amen, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.” (Luke 23:43)
   He wasn’t talking to a “good” guy who was being misjudged according to the criminal justice systems of his day; he was talking to a convicted criminal—but a convicted criminal who had a last-minute change of heart when he saw and heard and somehow glimpsed something of who Jesus was at the end of both their lives!
   Somehow, this sort of goes against the grain when it comes to our relationships with others, especially difficult others.
   Maybe our memories are too good so that we hold on to a long list of offenses and dishonesties of another, never forgetting and never forgiving.
   Maybe we fear being taken in and being judged naïve or stupid, if some unexpected and hard-to-believe show of repentance is displayed by a presumably incorrigible relative, friend, acquaintance, or enemy, and we pardon them.
   St. Peter wrestled with that. Remember his asking Jesus, “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?”Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.” (Matthew 18: 21-22)

   Jesus wasn’t setting a sort of new limiting goal when he said, “seventy-seven times.” He basically was saying you should keep forgiving ridiculously more times than anyone would imagine. Forgiveness should have no limits!
   Dumb! Stupid! Being a sucker! Being taken advantage of! Naïve!
   Sure, that’s often what people may say, judging you, if you try to live up to the high standard Jesus sets. But whose judgement counts the most? Other people’s or God’s?
   Don’t be afraid of forgiving or forgetting too much. Remember, Jesus also said,
   “Stop judging, that you may not be judged. For as you judge, so will you be judged, and the measure with which you measure will be measured out to you. Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove that splinter from your eye,’ while the wooden beam is in your eye? You hypocrite, remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:1-5)
   “Which one of you would hand his son a stone when he asks for a loaf of bread, or a snake when he asks for a fish? If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask him.
   “Do to others whatever you would have them do to you. This is the law and the prophets.” (Matthew 7:9-12)
   Better to forgive too much than too little!
   “Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!” [A quote from a sailor, not from the Bible]

30 October 2022

Ransomed, Healed, Restored, Forgiven

Praise, my soul, the King of heaven;
To his feet your tribute bring;
Ransomed, healed, restored, forgiven,
Evermore his praises sing . . .
(from Lauda Anima)

To be clear about the conditions referred to when we sing the hymn, we’re praising God because we’re totally and completely liberated, exonerated, and once again given a fresh start. We use powerful words:
   Ransomed: 1. redeemed from captivity, bondage, detention etc., by paying a demanded price. 2. delivered or redeemed from punishment for sin.
   Healed: 1. made healthy, whole, or sound; restored to health; free from ailment. 2. brought to an end or conclusion as conflicts between peoples or groups, usually with the strong implication of restoring former amity; settled; reconciled. 3. freed from evil; cleansed; purified.
   Restored: 1. brought back into existence, use, or the like; reestablished. 2. brought back to a former, original, or normal condition, as a building, statue, or painting. 3. brought back to a state of health, soundness, or vigor. 4. put back to a former place, or to a former position, rank, etc.. 5. given back; made return or restitution of (anything taken away or lost). 6. reproduced or reconstructed (an ancient building, extinct animal, etc.) in the original state.
   Forgiven: 1. granted pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolved. 2. gave up all claim on account of remittance of (a debt, obligation, etc.). 3. granted pardon to (a person). 4. ceased to feel resentment against: 5. canceled an indebtedness or liability of.
   If ransomed, healed, restored, forgiven, we’re in really good shape. All that pulls us back or pulls us down is gone and over with. There are no more claims upon us, no more unpleasant consequences to face.

   There is nothing to fear any more. The guilt and paralysis is gone. The slate is wiped clean. We have a fresh start.
   Truly, it is appropriate to sing songs of praise and gratitude—to move on with great expectations because of the mercy, pardon, and promise of the Lord.
   You know what? Much of the time we don’t do it! We don’t praise God, with free hearts and spirits, delighting in a new start. Perversely, we often have a fatal fascination with our weaknesses, failures, and losses.
   Why are so drawn to look into the mirror of our life—of our limited, flawed life with its history of missed opportunities and poor performances, of nursing of wounds to pride and ego, of lamentations of our many and constant failures, of damages done great and small, of withdrawals and self-defeats?
   Face it! We are all limited and weak creatures. Except for a special grace of God, our lives are imperfect, riddled with exaggerations, evasions, misrepresentations, failures, mistakes, and faults.
   God knows! He knows us, better than we do, and our responsibility for our frequent blindness, indifference, pretense, falsification, and selfishness.
   God forgives! Even so, we often find it hard, if not impossible, to forgive ourselves with our wounded pride.
   God made us to be what we are, human creatures. God is not blind to our failures, but God is merciful.
   What foolish pride it is that we never cease looking at ourselves and our weaknesses and rarely look at and sing the astoundingly generous and undeserved pardon, mercy, and love of God, who repeatedly ransoms, heals, restores, and forgives us.

26 December 2021

Eye upon the Doughnut

One of my first tastes of philosophy was as a child, in a coffee shop/restaurant, reading this jingle:

As you ramble on through life, brother,
Whatever be your goal,
Keep your eye upon the doughnut
And not upon the hole!

I thought it was great. I still do, but if you try too hard to analyze it, you may miss what it’s saying.
It’s an overall advice to be optimistic rather than pessimistic, to focus more on what you have than on what you don’t. It’s like that riddle of folk philosophy, “Is the glass half-empty or half-full?”
A longer version of the same thought is an old joke about two twin brothers, one always the optimist, the other, the pessimist. One Christmas morning, their parents decided to challenge them.
When the kids woke up, they took the pessimist to a room with a beautiful decorated tree surrounded by presents. He burst into tears. “Look at the star on top of the tree,” he cried, “It’s crooked!”
They took his brother to an empty room with nothing in it but straw and manure on the floor. He clapped his hands in delight, and cried out, “Where’s the pony?”
Going back to the jingle, it’s actually a false dichotomy—the hole in the middle is actually an integral part of the doughnut, a ring shaped piece of baked dough.
You might say that the absences—the missing things—in our life and behavior are also an integral part of our lives.
Not being God, we’re not perfect. Except for a special grace of God, no human person is or ever can be perfect.
We’re all somewhat “doughnut shaped”. We’re all “holey” people trying to become whole and “holy” people!

In the church of the apostles, the great emphasis was on the overwhelming love and mercy of God. Those who embraced the teachings of Jesus didn’t go about bewailing how imperfect they were. On the contrary, they were joyful that they were pardoned for their failings and were now sharers in a new life. And, they eagerly looked forward to wonderful things to come!
Somehow or other, as the centuries passed, maybe because people were “born into” Christianity and took the good news for granted, an emphasis on personal sin and sinfulness gradually became a much more important part of prayer and religious practice.
And, of course, the more we focus on the negative side of our life and behavior, the more down and discouraged we’re likely to become.
It’s a trap! Of course we’re not perfect people. So, of course, we can always find things to bewail—and we can always find others to call attention to our failings.
Let’s face it, we have a very bad habit of keeping our eye upon the hole, and not upon the doughnut!
Here’s another curious thing. You hear others bewailing that people don’t go to confession enough, as in the “old days”.
The roots of the rite of reconciliation were to allow a complete defector among those who had chosen to live according the teachings of Jesus, an “apostate”, to be re-admitted to the Christian community.
Thanks be to God, if we’re getting better and better! Convert your “examination of conscience” into a litany of thanks for the so many occasions of God’s love and mercy!

8 November 2020

The Whale Tale

It’s often included among the “prophetic books” of the Bible, even though it has little to do with prophecy: the book of Jonah.
It’s not much of a book, only a few pages long; it’s a very short story, but one with lessons.
One of the latest of the Old Testament writings, probably a few centuries before the birth of Jesus, it was a well-known story in Jesus’ day—in fact, he quoted it in his preaching:

An evil and unfaithful generation seeks a sign, but no sign will be given it except the sign of Jonah the prophet. Just as Jonah was in the belly of the whale three days and three nights, so will the Son of Man be in the heart of the earth three days and three nights. At the judgment, the men of Nineveh will arise with this generation and condemn it, because they repented at the preaching of Jonah; and there is something greater than Jonah here. (Mt 12: 39b-41; also Lk 11:30-32)

What were the lessons that the book of Jonah was meant to teach?
Well, first of all, how astounding is the mercy of God! No matter how much anyone may ignore God’s will or go against it—no matter what—if they repent, they can be forgiven.
Even more important, God plays no favorites: God’s mercy is for all, without discrimination—as much for the repentant “unbelievers” as for the rebellious prophet!
God isn’t just the God of the Jews—or of the Christians, or of the Muslims. God is the god of every one of his creatures—e.g., everybody, no matter who!
A great lesson for today, when “we” (the right people) are so discriminating about “them” (the wrong people) —no matter who the “we” and the “them” may be!

When I was a child, I learned about people in terms of colors: Black meant of African descent (but south of the Sahara); Red, Indians (Native Americans); White, of European (or Mediterranean) descent; and Yellow, of Asian descent (usually Chinese).
We still haven’t let go of this odd—and inappropriate—way of typing people. Once upon a time, “Colored people” was rejected as “racist” terminology; now it’s “politically correct” for “White” people to refer to most others as “people of color”!
We’re all “people of color”. Everybody has melanin, the pigment in their skin that protects against too much sun, ranging from very little to a lot. (Historically, peoples living closer to the poles were paler and closer to the equator were darker.)
We misuse the word “races” to classify people, since there is only one human race.
Many other of our “classification” words also can be misused or are inappropriate: caste, class, status, education, maturity—also upper, lower, rich. poor, smart, dumb, lazy, and hard-working. They may be useful for comparisons but not for categories—e.g., because I’m fatter than you, that doesn’t necessarily make me a “fat person”.
Most people use these words carelessly with no intention to depreciate or to do harm; some use them carefully and deliberately, knowing what they are doing.
“. . . the men of Nineveh will arise with this generation and condemn it, because they repented at the preaching of Jonah”. We have something greater—the teaching of Jesus and the best of our religious traditions.
If we really believe, then our actions should speak even louder than our words!

23 August 2020

Seeing Is/Isn’t Believing . . . ?

The New Jersey apartment building I live in is on a high ridge and the view is spectacular. Some mornings I look eastward towards the distant towers of Manhattan on the skyline, looking over bright bands of fog filling some valleys and lowlands.
Sometimes I wake up to see nothing more than the dim glow of the fog that envelopes the area where I live, broken by the branches of very nearby trees. But often, to my surprise, I can walk or drive down the hill and see everything clearly, but not brightly, because the fog bank is above!
In John 20:19-31 we read about the resurrection appearance of Jesus to the apostles. Most were there and saw him; Thomas wasn’t and didn’t.
“Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nail-marks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe!”
The next week he saw, and he was ashamed. “Have you come to believe because you have seen me?” Jesus said to him, “Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.”
In Luke 24:13-35 we read about another resurrection appearance of Jesus to two disciples on the road to Emmaus, They were discouraged and downcast.
They were skeptical about the resurrection appearance stories they had heard. You might say they were “enthralled” by their sorrow and disillusionment. (“Enthralled” in the sense of be held in slavery.)
“How foolish you are!” Jesus said to them, and he then begin to remind them of their religious history and faith.
With eyes wide shut, they were listening to Jesus, while wallowing in grief. (“Wallowing” in the sense of lying in and indulging it.)
It was only at supper as he said the blessing, breaking the bread, that they recognized him.

We often say, “Seeing is believing,” but it “ain’t necessarily so.”
Thomas saw because he was confronted by the proof he vainly demanded—and, he didn’t deny what he saw and heard and touched.
The two disciples took a long time to really see and hear, because they were so in denial that they were blind and deaf to what was right in front of them.
Sometimes it’s belief that enables us to really see. On the other hand, “Believing is seeing,” also, “ain’t necessarily so.”
Life’s like that. Sometimes we see clearly, including the fog itself (because we’re not in it); other times we’re in the fog and see very little.
Believing is something like that, We believe what we believe, even without evidence or, sometimes, in denial of what we have seen, heard, touched, or experienced.
Right now, we’re living in very foggy days. We know that fog is part of life, and we know that sooner or later it lifts—but while we’re in the fog, we can easily become confused and lose our sense of direction.
We miss the joy of a bright, clear day, bathed in sunshine, eyes wide open. And, when the fog goes on and on, we yearn for the sunshine—but, no matter what, we know that the sun still is shining, even though we can’t see it.
Jesus didn’t bawl out Thomas or the two disciples. He knew they were only human, not faithless; weak, but not bad.
He knows that about me and you, too. When life seems to be too dark, don’t forget that he is “the light of the world.”

26 April 2020

Going to Confession

The Act of Contrition I was taught as a child concludes with, “. . . I firmly resolve with the help of Thy grace to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life. Amen.”
Further, the Sisters told me that, if I couldn’t recall any sins when I went to confession, I should tell the priest I was sorry for my past sins and ask his blessing. (It was unthinkable to receive communion without going to confession first.)
I did what they said in my second confession, a week after the first. “Get out,” the priest brusquely said, “kneel down, examine your conscience, and come back!”
Now, people tend to go to confession rarely and communion often, much to the dismay of many taught as I was.
In the early Christian centuries frequent communion was usual, but it gradually declined. In the Middle Ages it got to be so infrequent that the Fourth Lateran Council decreed that everyone had to receive communion at least once a year.
That’s the root of the custom of “making one’s Easter Duty,” preparing during Lent for an annual confession and reception of communion at Easter.
The Council of Trent encouraged more frequent communion than once annually, and St. Pius X (1903-1914) not only strongly encouraged the practice but also lowered the age for First Communion.
However, the association of confession and communion still continued—even now Latin Canon Law requires annual confession.
The Constitution on the Sacred Liturgy of the Second Vatican Council (par. 62) stated, “With the passage of time, however, certain features have crept into the rites of the sacraments and sacramentals which have made their nature and purpose less clear to the people of today. Hence some changes are necessary to adapt them to present-day needs…”

The Council mandated (par. 72), “The rite and formulas of Penance are to be revised so that they more clearly express both the nature and the effect of the sacrament.”
A new Rite of Penance was published in 1973. Although the document had a traditional title, the key concept pervading it was reconciliation, reconciliation with God and with the Church.
Actually this harked back to a troubling issue in the early era of Christian persecution, what to do with a Christian who apostatized—who formally disavowed his baptismal commitment to live by the teachings of Jesus and to belong to the Christian community, the Church.
It was finally decided that if the apostate truly repented and begged forgiveness and reinstatement in the community, after a period of public penance he or she could be reconciled and readmitted into the Church.
However, since the initiation rite of Baptism could not be repeated, a new penitential rite was needed to celebrate and affirm this readmission.
Later, the rite began to be used to celebrate the sinner’s repentance and readmission into the Church in the case of other grave and public sins, not only apostasy.
Gradually it became more private, evolving into the familiar “going to confession.” This included celebrating the repentance of less serious offenses against God and the Church and strengthening one’s repentance and resolve to live a holier life.
To be grateful for the loving mercy and grace of God should be a constant of our lives—and reconciliation as often as may be needed.

18 August 2019