O God, you are my God—
it is you I seek!
For you my body yearns;
for you my soul thirsts.
This verse (Psalm 63:2) is an evocative description of the human condition—a restless thirsting, hungering, searching for meaning, purpose, and fulfillment.
Please notice, though, that the starting point is God. We’re not journeying through life like an explorer in a wilderness. Life is not a long-term, trying expedition to satisfy our wander/wonder lust. We’re not discoverers stumbling upon, unearthing a great trove of beautiful ideas or artifacts, evidence of some past glory.
Remember the Baltimore Catechism question, “Why Did God Make You? The answer was, “God made me to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him in this world, and to be happy with Him for ever in heaven.”
There, also, the starting point is God, but the focus seems to be more on us than on God—at least in the sense that it gives a short list of our obligations to God, the things that we have to do to achieve being “happy with him for ever in heaven.”
What do we do when we go to confession? We don’t “confess” (in the sense of proclaim) the mercy and wonder of God’s love and providence, We “confess” in some detail our failings, inadequacies, misdeeds, and sins. Sure, it’s primarily about offending God, but the focus is still mostly on ourselves!
Is our story more about God and Me or about Me and God? It seems like the main focus is Me.
To quote again (Psalm 63:9):
My soul clings fast to you;
your right hand upholds me.
My clinging is feeble. God holds me fast.
St. Therese of the Child Jesus recalled that once a priest told her that her falling asleep during prayer was due to a want of fervor and fidelity and that she should be desolate over it. She had replied, “I am not desolate. I remember that little children are just as pleasing to their parents when they are asleep as when they are awake.”
Often children think that they somehow earn their parents love and care by their good behavior, although they are loved and cared for long before they’ve matured enough to wrestle with disobedience.
For St. Therese, clearly the starting point in her life story was God. It was about God and Me, not Me and God! It’s about the wonder of his making of each of us, of the many gifts he has given each of us, about his guiding of each of our lives, about the beauty and marvel of the world in which God has placed each of us to live.
Okay, we can’t overlook all our blindness, indifference, selfishness, and stupidity over the years. We can’t pretend that all our inappropriate acts never happened, that all our offenses did no harm.
But, we can’t wallow in their remembrance forever. For God’s sake, why should we be more fascinated with our failings then with God’s continuing mercy, love, forgiveness, and new empowerments. Our life story is not about Me and God, but God and Me.
For your love is better than life;
my lips shall ever praise you!
I will bless you as long as I live;
I will lift up my hands, calling on your name.
You indeed are my savior,
and in the shadow of your wings I shout for joy. (Psalm 63:4-5,8)
21 November 2021